Well here I am back at NGU. I have been for two weeks today. It's been crazy. Beyond crazy. I got here on the 9th for RA training. I walked into the first meeting not knowing what to expect. I was slightly nervous and apprehensive because of the stigma that goes on with the title of RA. We've had some bad things happen in our Student Services department and the attitudes of people haven't been the best. So I was bracing myself for the backlash from other students. However, once I went to the first meeting I realized, something was completely different. The mentalitly of the group had changed. SERVANT LEADERSHIP is our motto. We have taken that on full heartedly.

I wasn't fully comprehending the idea of Servant Leadership until Tuesday, the 12th. To do team building we were sent on a White Water Rafting trip. We were put into teams with people we may or may not have known. I had my fellow hall RA in my boat with people I really didn't know that well surrounding us. We got in the water and started paddling down the river...within 5 minutes our boat capsized and along with myself, our guide, and two other guys went into the water being ravaged by the current. It was freezing. The water in the Nantahala doesn't get above 45 degrees...that day it was 42. I was sucked out of the boat and the next thing I know I am a good couple of hundred feet down the river trying to fight for my life. I was trying to find somewhere to stop myself so that the boats of other teams from our group could get to me. Finally I found a rock that I could sit on. Once there I looke up and saw my boat with a few members still in and working on getting one of our guys in. He got in and yelled that I needed to swim to them. So I sat for a minute trying to regain whatever strength I could and finally made the push off to get to them. Just as I was right about to reach for the boat the boat got swept in the current and they were off. Thank God, I had made it to a bank where there wasn't much current at all. I finally stood up because the water wasn't really moving and just stood. I was so shocked...I was so cold. I stood there in disbelief of what just happened. The rapid wasnt' that big but we hit it completely wrong. I will never forget the look on my friend Brittany's face as she watched me float down the river. When i would come up I would look for the boat and she was in the boat just watching and trying to find out how to get me. I stood on the bank as a few boats passed me and other boats tried to help Shawn and Tank. My friend Phillip finally saw me and had a boat come get me...to him I am eternally grateful. I got in and started singing "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. We floated down the river and there was my original boat with most of the members waiting on the bank for me. I was so thankful for them. It was great to have them pull of and wait. For the rest of the ride we were working as a team and fighting for each other. It was amazing.

When I got back I could barely walk because my knees were completely banged up. One had a bruise in the shape of Africa...and i promise you I'm not lying. Both of them were swollen for days and hurt like crazy. However that experience is one I will never forget and will never hate. We bonded so much on that trip and really saw Servant Leadership put to the test. One girl in our group had to be air vacked out and it was pretty scary but it was an amazing experience to go through together.

Since then the freshmen have moved in and classes have started. I got a brand new camera and man it's amazing.

Classes are going well. Mostly art and that is awesome.

I'm on Duty this weekend so i'm at NGU most the time but it's still amazing to get to interact with the students and further the ministry.

In high school I was always known as the girl who didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex. My Christian beliefs have something to do with that, however, what most didn't know was how my decisions didn't just come from my religious beliefs. I remember one day I was sitting in my AP English class and a the guy who sat in front of me, and the girls who were around me were talking about a party where they got so "toasted." I was involved in the conversation, more as an ear listening than a mouth moving. I found myself being asked "So Heather, what's your take on all this?" I replied with "Well, I don't drink so I really don't have an opinion." This statement was met with big eyes and questioning glances. "Heather you really should drink, it's so much fun. I really think you would like it." With this statement I lifted my head from my school work and kind of smirked and said "yeah, no I don't think so."



That conversation happened more than once my senior year. All year the same guy would talk to me and try to convince me that it was something I should try. Finally one day he actually had the presence of mind to ask me "so why don't you drink?" This excited me for some reason. I looked him dead in the face and said "Well, to be honest, I come from an alcoholic blood line and I have seen it tear up families and seen the idiocy that comes with it. I don't really feel like finding out if I'm an alcoholic because once I do, it's too late. So I just decided that I wouldn't drink anything because to me, it's not worth losing myself just to have some liquid going down my throat."



He looked at me for a few seconds and said, "you know what? I respect that. You shouldn't drink then. I get it."



I finally had won the on going conversation and was slightly pleased with myself, I can't lie. But then as the day went on and I went through my classes of the day I thought, "why did I have to even explain that to him? why didn't he just accept our differences on the matter? Why did I have to get that upfront, and let him see my opinion and life?" I moved on from that and here we are 3 years later and I am facing a bout of alcoholism with a family member near and dear to my heart. That day was thrusted into my memory again as I sat and watched stumbling and anger raging up.



Alcoholism kills people. I don't mean in the literal "you're dead" sense, though it does that too. I mean in the emotional, mental, physical sense. It not only affects the drinker, but also the family and friends around the drinker. I have seen things in the past few years that I really feel I should never have been privy to.

Addicts are selfish people. They see you and think you are just don't understand all they're going through. In most ways, this is an accurate statement. But there are times when I would like to turn around and say, "You know what I don't know what you're going through, but I have to see the havoc you cause and the fear, destruction, and sadness in the people around you. It's not fair to them, so suck it up. Be a man, deal with it." It's in those moments that I must stop myself and pray for a heart of compassion. Pray for the situation and the words to say.

Since I'm not an addict it is hard for me to understand how someone let their life get so dependent on a substance. I will most likely never know what it feels like to be on that end of addiction. I will only know the pain it causes. That pain is something I pray none of you have to experience. It is hard to sit and watch a loved one drink themselves to death. It's sad and you feel helpless.

This blog is mainly to let those out there who struggle with addiction know that they really need to own up to it and get help. It's also to let those who are on the other side know they are not alone and to not give up on your loved ones.