Truth be told this past semester was the hardest one of my life. I was faced with challenges that I never expected to see and surprises that were just that. There were several times in which I almost gave up; just sat down and cried and said "enough, I can't take any more." There were times I could not see the end. I couldn't tell which end was up. I felt like I was suffocating almost in all the classes, all the requirements, all the responsibilities I had committed myself to.
The previous semester had its own challenges with the break up and all, but this past semester was bigger than that. I consider that a God thing. I feel God spent the summer pulling me out of myself. Put my focus back where it needed to be...on HIM. I see this semester as being, not the final yank, but one of the bigger ones. I spent the semester mending relationships that I had let fall by the way side. I spent this semester being the friend I forgot I was. I spent this semester living. All the while suffocating. It is quite the conundrum, I cannot lie.
When I started this new school year I was unsure of how I would fare in the new major. I had my insecurities about myself...those are things I still face today. I was ready to be something different...I was ready to be myself; someone I hadn't been in almost a year. I was really just ready for something different. It's funny how God knows what you want and what you need and how that can all come together in one big shock. The shock of the semester came in one Henry Camden Lang IV. However that's a story for another time (though it is an amazing story :)).
I found myself staying up to all hours of the night working on projects that I had been working on for days, I found myself waking up early to finish up the projects. One night Bethany (roommate) and I went to Starbucks for a roommate date. We were talking about all the projects I had and she simply looked at me and said "Heather you barely have time to sleep." It was the first time I had actually realized that I only slept about 3-5 hours a night on average. NOT HEALTHY! Through all of that God taught me to be adaptable. To do what I had to do no matter what and see the benefit. To do what I knew I had to do because it was right.
School wasn't the only stress. In mid September Bethany walked in the room and said in a tone that only roommate's can fully understand to mean something bad is coming, "Heather?" I turned and looked at her and said "oh no, what?" From this point on the entire semester changed for me because she explained that she felt God was calling her to be a nurse and because of that she would have to transfer to another school. Next year. That was a hard pill to swallow. Unfortunately, a month later she looked at me and said that she found out that it wasn't next year but next semester. I didn't know how to take that. I was actually devastated. My best friend was leaving. But I realized that God used her in my life to show me new things, to challenge me, and this was just a continuation of that. God was using her to grow me. It hurt, but it was what needed to happen. I cried like a baby a few times as did she. We would have random "heather/bethany" times where we just said "forget the work, this will be what we remember."
It's true. That will be what I remember. I will remember the good times with friends, the new adventures and new places. I will forget the tests I didn't do so well on. I will forget the days in and days out of stress (maybe lol). I will remember though, the people who saw me through, the girls that I spent day and night with in Middle Howard, The guy who changed everything in September of 2008. I will remember those things. So all the stress, all the long nights and even longer days will be worth it. The memories I have made so far are what make it easy to say that.
A new semester starts in a few days and I am refreshed and ready to see what it has in store.
