Three years ago today I was in the summer between my Junior and Senior year of high school. I was sitting on the middle level of our house in the recliner watching tv. My cell phone was sitting next to me. I saw that I was receiving a call from my friend Kristen. I answered the call and heard something I never expected to hear. She told me that one of my favorite people in the world had passed away. Well, comitted suicide.

Virginia "Gin" Webb was one of the sweetest human beings in the world. She always had a smile, always an encouraging word, always a way to make you feel better about life. She was a friend of mine from high school. We played on the same basketball team, sang in the same chorus at school and had a lot of the same friends. She was 2 year older than me and got accepted to the USC Honors College. I will never forget when our basketball team went to a Women's Clemson game and she said she couldn't cheer because it wasn't right. I laughed for a while and parents started talking her into it.

Her death threw me greatly. I never had someone that close to me die. Of course there were relatives but they were a great deal older than me and so it wasn't as personal. To hear that she had killed herself scared me greatly. I went into a huge battle of spiritual warfare. I was so afraid of death and I soon became consumed with worry and doubt and fear. I had never been so in the Word as I was at that point in my life. I would read as much as possible to be able to feel okay. that lasted for about 4 months. It was amazing to wake up that one morning and feel like the war was finally over.

That was just the beginning of a long battle of God pulling not only myself, but my entire family under his wing. He began stripping us of things one by one and it soon became difficult to see the clarity and vision that was being used then. God was breaking my father in ways that I, in no way could begin to describe. That battle was one that was a lot deeper than I even know. Battles such as that affect men a lot differently than women so my insight is greatly limited. God was breaking my mother in ways that were more easily seen by me, however I was a senior in high school and slightly consumed with myself. That was where I was being broken. I was so self consumed that I couldn't see past my doubts, my worries, my fears, what I didn't have. God began working on me, and still is. I will always be a work in progress until I die (I love that thought). Complacency had begun to take over in our family. Our positions in life were pretty well known for us. We knew what was expected, where to go, what to say, how to act.I mean we were "the radio people/minister family" those expectations are pretty well known. But that was the problem, at least for me. It was all an act. No one knew my personal struggle. That would be admitting I didn't have as together as everyone thought. I still struggle, but I try. Not as hard as I should, but I do try....anyways back to Gin.

Gin's death was the topic of conversation for many months and even now Mayfield and I will discuss it because she was such a sweet person. We soon found out after her death that she wasn't intending to kill herself. She had been playing the choking game. A horrible trend among teenagers and young adults. She made the mistake of trying it alone and never regained conciousness. Her brother and mother found her. It was truly devestating.

Gin changed my life in more ways than she will ever know. I am thankful that I got to know her and that I got to have my life be affected by her. She fell into a bad hole, yet I know she loved her God and is with him today. I really wish she hadn't fallen into what she did, but God knows the plan there and I can see how her death affected more than just her family, friends, and me. Her mom is now an activist against the Choking game and does all she can to get the word out on how parents and friends can watch for signs.


I ask that you guys keep their family in your prayers. It may have been 3 years but that doesn't make the loss of a daughter and sister easier. Pray that they have leaned on God for their serenity and understanding.